Get a house they said, it'll be fun they said. Well, not on a icy February morning when you step into the shower and it runs ice cold, it isn't. Modern UK plumbing is based around combi-boilers, which is the plumbing equivalent of flying a fighter jet with no ejection seat - when things go wrong, on boy do they go wrong. They provide a lovely standardized plumbing system in a box, greatly reducing the gubbins needed in your house; but they lack any flexibility, or backup plan. My crazy plan is to cram into a small house: the facility to heat water conventionally (via a boiler), and via thermal solar, ...and via a solid fuel burning back boiler, ...and an electric heater. Needless to say, none of this is 'standard', so a magical system in a box won't work. This is where that February morning comes to bite, the old boiler decided to pack-up a month ahead of schedule, before any of this new stuff was ready. I can assure you, the old 1940s way of heating water with a kettle is a right royal faff. By the end of the talk, you'll know exactly why combi boilers suck; what this vented nonsense is; what gravity has to do with anything; stuff about zones; whay my secret s plan is, and why not y; and why, technically speaking (the best kind of speaking), it is illegal to remove a heatpump system in the UK if you don't like it.