“Fuck you you fucking whore. Fuck you”. A text I received from a colleague I was told was “too valuable to reprimand". I'm so tired of sitting through “Women in tech” panels where women are told what they can do to survive in the tech industry. The ones where women are coached on confidence, on negotiating, on resilience, on not shrinking. The implicit message: the problem is fixable if women just try harder. This talk isn't that. This will be an uncomfortable account of what men actually said and did to one woman, over one career. Ask any woman in the room. They've got similar stories. This isn't uncommon, it's a fucking Tuesday. I'm not going to suggest solutions. That's on the men in the audience. I ask you to reckon with what is happening around you. Talk to your friends about it. See it, say it, fucking sort it.