QR Codes! They're everywhere, and after this talk you'll see them everywhere. They've invaded every part of modern life - but how did they get there? (Have they always been here, in secret?) This talk will cover the history of scanning things that contain information such as the barcode, covering not just one but TWO whole dimensions of scanning. Where was the first barcode (spoilers, it involves trains)? Is it true that barcodes caused a conspiracy in the 1980s? We'll learn what competitors are there for the QR code and why they failed under the might of the QR. We'll explore why the QR code so pervasive in modern society and what makes them so good. This presentation will generally be light hearted and whimsical, and will contain several jokes, some serious security advice, but generally be light entertainment. There will be no AI imagery or text.