IoT baby monitors, smart bassinets, connected toys, and AI-powered parenting apps promise peace of mind and convenience for tired parents of wee children. But behind the reassuring notifications and cutesy designs lies an ever expanding ecosystem of microphones, cameras, biometric sensors, cloud analytics, and behaviour profiling systems collecting data about children - before they even have started solids! This talk explores the privacy implications of modern baby IoT devices: what data is collected, where it goes, who profits from it. I will examine real-world breaches, insecure ecosystems, children's data gathering, and the consequences of normalising surveillance from infancy.